My Holograph...

Know Thy History!

2006-02-10T02:02:00.000-08:00

Here is an article written in 1908, by an american named Jabez T. Sunderland and published in "The Atlantic". It's a really long article and takes considerable time to read. But what an article! It explains how india was robbed of her riches by the british and what caused the deteriation of the economy.

Here are Some of the startling facts i noted down from this artice. These are the facts we never read in our politically influenced history text books:

- The average daily income of the people of India in the year 1850 was estimated, as 4 cents per person,in 1882 it had fallen to 3 cents per person, and in 1900 actually to less than 2 cents per person.

- One cause of this is heavy taxation. People of India are taxed more than twice as heavily as the people of England and three times as heavily as those of Scotland.

- According to the statistics of 1905, the annual average income per person in India is about $6.00, and the annual tax per person about $2.00.

- For example, Salt Tax: the tax upon it which for many years indians have been compelled to pay has been much greater than the cost value of the salt. Because of this, the quantity of salt consumed has been reduced actually to one-half the quantity declared by medical authorities to be absolutely necessary for health.

- Another cause of India's impoverishment is the destruction of her manufactures, as the result of British rule. England had all power in her hands, and so she proceeded to pass tariff and excise laws that ruined the manufactures of India and secured the market for her own goods.

-Another burden upon the people of India which does much to increase their poverty, is the enormously heavy military expenses of the government. Britishers kept an unnecessarily heavy army in india, just to indulge in their further conquests.

-For such foreign wars and campaigns -- campaigns and wars in which the Indian pcople had no concern, and for which they received no benefit, the aim of which was solely conquest and the extension of British power -- India was required to pay during the last century the enormous total of more than $460,000,000.

And the list goes on.

And guess what all this resulted in: Deaths of more than 18,000,000 people in eight decadeds. All because of hunger and poverty. Startling but so true!

If you want to know more about this genocide, do take time out to read this article.

A Crossing....

2006-02-02T02:11:00.000-08:00

Upperberths are a favourite of mine. I dont have to adjust myself according to the sleeping cycles of co-travellers. Infact, i am particularly scared of sleeping on those curd rice and sambar clad lower berths. And just to be clear, no, i dont spill my food on the berth, even if its not mine . So i was happily enjoying my sleep on the upperberth when my cellphone alarm woke up my fellow passengers. M was a little irritated, but obliging my request, woke me up. Stretching my self and the inherent laziness, i sticked my neck out, and read the words "kovvur" on the yellow colored railway board. I jumped up, for, this is a morning not to be missed.

Early mornings are engrossing for me, but for that they are early and in the morning. I enjoy the serenity and beauty of them. I walked to the door and looked out. The sight of the structured arches gave me goosebumps.

Every time i cross this river, i experience this unexplainable joy. Its a feeling of jumping on to mom's lap after a tiring play session, to enjoy a delicious dinner. The sound of the locomotive wheels entering the girder built bridge tells me that the train has entered the bridge. A bloke from the S1 compartment peeps out to catch up the beautiful sight.

The river is not always full. But owing to the heavy downpour we had last year, it beams full, with a great grandeur.

But one will come across these patches of land, beautifully bedecking the river and enhancing its beauty. If lucky, one will be even able to catch a glimpse of beautiful black bucks that live there.

A girder plays spoil sport, as i try to capture the sight of two fishing boats, playing with each other.

But i persist, and get lucky this time. And i realise its three of them and not two. Could you figure that out? :)

And this man looks at me, stands up and poses for the photo. I oblige him and clicks it up. I prayed i get clear of the girders.

But not this couple on this boat. They were really close, but they are turned the other way, and oblivious. I tried to center them for the snap, but the train started to accelerate by then and this is the best i could manage.

And i realised that we are reaching the other end, and welcomed by a sight of a fleet of the fisherboats!

I looked back, and a glorious sight of the bridge and the river posed for me. I just felt my self immersed in the serenity and stood tranquilized.

Moments later, the yellow colored railway board welcomed me, and i just looked at those fascinating words, GODAVARI!

The New Obsession...

2005-11-07T03:20:00.000-08:00

Yes, itz the Photo Blog. I have just started it. Enjoy these coolclix from my COOLPIX... !!!

Update: the URL is changed :)

Happy Deepavali!

2005-10-28T07:27:00.000-07:00

Wish You All A Very Happy Deepavali!

Sulking....

2005-07-11T01:26:00.000-07:00

Yes, its ages ago that i wrote. And No, its not emotional constipation. I just didnt had the time. I mean, the time to think and more importantly, the time to emote. Weeks never ended and the days were hectic. To be brief, i was hardly a human.

And to add to my woes, i was made to watch couple of Bollywood craps during this time. No, i dont even want to quote the names. I only pity those producers who put their money in the hands of such brainless directors. I wonder which age are they living in! The average indian male is no more sex-starved and he doesnt have to endure a 3 hour torture for his vicarious pleasures. An attrociously dressed Rani Mukherjee is the last thing that attracts him to a movie. The earlier these directors realise this, the better for them. Its ok if they dont want to put some clothes on the heroine, but they should consider putting in some coherent story in their movies.

And these directors achieved something i never thought would happen. Yes, i am saying this! Madam Rekha! Enough, Please retire. My admirations for her were so high, i attempted to watch even that dreadful movie. And it was hard for me to digest
the fact that i couldnt bear Rekha on screen. Yet again, one more reminder that we are all mortals and no one is a nirjara!

I wonder what caused this drying up of creative juices in bollywood. These days, they either just mimic the hollywood(in a bad taste) or re-make a movie thats already made couple of times. And these remakes, based on some out of the place novels, only succeed in defaming the authors. These guys rather make movies out of Mills & Boon novels and i think they can do a better job.

Enough bashing. In retrospect, i have no one but me to blame for this suffering. I have learnt my lessons now and will be more careful in attempting to watch a movie, that too in these badly-maintained and over-priced bangalorean theatres. I rather watch a golf match on TV and be more entertained!

A Scorching Nostalgia...!!!

2005-05-20T04:29:00.000-07:00

The Heat is On! Yes people, i am refering to the scorching summer this year. "Last summer was not this hot", Ofcourse, thats what we say every summer, but this year its not a cliche. The silicon valley of india, which is supposed to be having "very pleasant" climate, is blazing hot. And worse, there is hardly any breeze during the nights. And i just envy these Bangalorean gals, just cant afford to dress like them!!! Yes, the heat is aggravated!!!

This kind of summers always stir up a nostalgia in me. They remind me of my school days and summer holidays. And my native village and the house i spent my vacations in. Ah! Those days. Yes, I dont mind sounding cliched.

I always enjoyed my summer vacations. Specially those early mornings. I always woke up early during vacations. I admit "Don't have to study" was a definite motivation. Pretending sleep was the easiest trick i used to employ to avoid scolds for not studying. My rule was, the more time you are awake, more scolds you take for not sudying. Summer presented no such difficulties. I could happily wake up and enjoy those mornings.

And one should experience this beauty. The soothing breeze, cloudless sky, sacred chants from the temple's loud speaker, the serene ambience and the early morning village activities. I always sat on the rear-side compound wall, throwing pebbles in to the pond and observing people scurrying in the street on the other side of the tank. It was very amusing. A motley and variegated crowd. There was this milkwala who used the lid of his milk can as a calling bell. And those farmers going to fields on "Raleigh" and "Humber" cycles and litting their "chuttas"(tobacco rolls) with the rope thats lit and hanging to the panchayath board office roof. It was a definite visual treat watching the "lungi" clad villager riding the bicycle, balancing the handle with one hand and a big load of grass on head with the other.

And summer was also about mangoes. Yummy and unlimited!!! I could easily eat 4 mangoes with my lunch. Alas! i dont get that variety anymore. That mango tree in our backyard has fallen during a cyclone few years back.

And in the afternoon, when every one is enjoying a nap, Clad in a "full-hands" shirt tucked in my pant, i used to roam around in that scorching heat, most of the time playing with the bow and arrows i made for myself! And not to forget those cricket matches in the evenings. I always opened the batting for our team and bowled what i called "off spin".

Ah! i rambled quite a bit boring you with my nostalgia. Lemme take the shirt off and try the floor. May be i can catch up some sleep. God!This bed is giving me burns!!!

The Great Indian Bicycle Trick
Courtesy: Padmini

Time To Celebrate!!!

2005-04-21T21:50:00.000-07:00

God!!! I am so tied up with trivialities these days, that i didnt even notice the fact that the blog counter crossed the 5K mark! clap, clap. Better late than never. So when i saw it, i thought i must celebrate this.

But being a guy and a tee-totaller leaves one with very few options. So i have decided to celebrate by gifting myself something thats really cool! These are one of those few moments that make me happy for being single. And i look at those 'committed' guys with sympathy!!!For them, Whatever the occassion may be, its the girl who should get the gift. It will be generally like this:

guy: Honey! how do you like a diamond studded watch for this valentine's.
gal: Think something else Dear! That suits better as a gift on your birthday...
guy: $$$$!!!

Ha!thinking of one proper gift for a gal itself is a mammoth task for a guy. And what for alternatives!!! I know guys who, out of sheer lack of mental prowess, gave gifts like puncher-repair kits and lawn-mowers to girlfriends. I should say, the art of selecting a gift for a girl is as much complicated as freudian-psychology and as much tough to crack as human DNA code! So i will write a post dedicated to this sometime!

Coming to my current scenario, Imagine how it would have been if i have a girlfriend and express her my desire to celebrate with a cool gift to myself!

Me: Sweetheart! i wanna celebrate this and gift my self something really cool!
GF: Whats that you wanna buy?
Me: May be the latest Samsung D500. Its a really cool camera mobile to flaunt.
GF: Duffer! these camera mobiles dont work properly either as a camera or a mobile. Why do you wanna waste your money?
Me: Then you suggest something.
GF: Why dont you buy me those new model diamond ear-rings that we saw last time at the Jewellers.
Me: But when i wanted to buy them last time, you said you already have 365 pairs of ear-rings and dont want any more of them.
GF: Oh! i forgot about the leap-year then.
Me: WHAT!!!!!!

No, i dont have to take such shocks. I can peacefully go into a gadget shop, pickup the coolest one and swipe my card.

And i thank from bottom of my heart, all you readers who gave me this opportunity to celebrate and hope you continue to give me such opportunities. I also want to thank Mallika Sherawath, Neha Dhupia, Konkona Sen, Thrisha Krishnan, Valentino rossi's girlfriend and all those celebrity babes who also have been key contributers to this. And a big thanks to Google for making these people help me in getting the counter ticking!

I am not sure whether to be happy or not, but these are some of the google searches that are pointing to my blog:

- Hot Mallika Sherawath
- Thrisha Krishnan in shower (oops!)
- Neha Dhupia vital Statistics (?!!)
- Konkona Sen height and weight
- Hot Mallu Babes (this one mostly from Gelf!!!)
- Valentino Rossi's girlfriend kissing (!!!)

Thats about it peoples, and i have decided to be a little more careful in using celebrity names in my posts. Imagine the state of a guy whose desperate for some motivation, if he lands up on my blog hoping to find some thing useful. Atleast, i can understand and empathize. If you dont see why, then you are not a guy and single!!!

The Great Secret Getting Revealed...!!!

2005-03-30T10:19:00.000-08:00

Still Fresh...

2005-03-22T20:53:00.000-08:00

Not the wound
But the smile!

Ah! did some one say
A thing of beauty is joy forever!!!

A Thing Of Beauty...!!!

2005-03-16T12:02:00.000-08:00

Way home, tired
I was speeding my enticer near a bangalorean fly-over
A cutie, midst of the road
Accompanied by her parents and younger sister
I honked, pretty irritated
She scurried away,her parents giving me a stare
Zooming past, i looked
She looked back, gave me a smile as her eyes shutter
I beamed, delighted
It was not the girl, but the smile that i fell for
Few yards, ahead
Alas! my bike followed, thats something i expected never
With the hot bag, in hand
Nursing my bruised ankle, now i wonder
Who was it, that said
A thing of beauty is joy forever!

The Idol Mania...!!!

2005-03-02T22:50:00.000-08:00

Tension!!! thats what prevails in our flat now. My roomies are all anxiety personified. Words can't describe the emotional turmoil these people are going through and the pain they are experiencing mentally and physically.

Me: Chalo Yaar! Khana kha lethe hain...
My Roomie: You go ahead, i can't eat now. My fingers are crossed...
I look at his fingers. They are all really crossed and piled one on the other!

No, none of them are awaiting Chartered Accountancy exam results or any thing like that (Talking of the CA exam, i am reminded of the following joke. Written on one of the walls in Hyderabad: "Jesus Neve Fails!". Some one wrote next to it, "Ask him to go take CA exam!").

And before you wonder too much, let me clarify. It's the Indian Idol mania thats shaking my flat so much. With the final episode telecasted, now my roomies are too tensed to know who will become Indian Idol. And they have to wait one whole week to know that. I only pray to god to keep them alive till next saturday so that they can uncross their fingers and eat something.

And they are not alone. I have many friends and colleagues who are taken by this mania. But thats the power media has. Its just another example of how mass media can influence people just by creating hype about something. Singing contests are nothing new on TV channels. And the credit should go to ZEE for Sa Re Ga Ma which i say is one of the best programs ever conceived on indian channels. And to say, the quality of singers and music is far better than in any of these over-hyped programs. But who cares! As long as mobile service providers churn money from those frenzied SMS senders, they wouldn't mind sponsoring many more such programs. And Yeah, not only Shilpa Shetty and Susmita Sen, we will also get to see Mallika Sherawath and Neha Dhupia offering their expert opinions on music in future!!!

A Piece of Art....!!!

2005-02-14T22:07:00.000-08:00

Before you read: The following piece is related to art movies and so, can be highly boring. Also, by saying that, if I have evoked any hopes of reading about soft-pornography and extra-marital affairs, sorry. It doesn't deal with that part of art movies. And it will be a little long too. If you are a guy, after reading this you may be left with a feeling similar to that you will have after watching an art movie that doesn’t even contain nudity. So here I warn you, before you read, READER DISCRETION RECOMMENDED.

I was introduced to art movies during my junior college days. And i was pretty excited about them then. Doordarshan used to telecast them on Friday nights at 11PM. Star TV was just setting foot in India and not all had cable TV access. So, those 11PM movies were the only source of 'education' for we guys.

As I 'grew', I distanced myself from this genre of movies and stopped bothering about them. So, when there was this controversy about Konkona Sen and national anthem, i couldn't get who this heroine was. I asked one of my friends and she told me that Konkona is an award-winning actress who acted in a very good movie called "Mr & Mrs Iyer".

Yes, i did hear that movie's name some time back. But never bothered to check the details. Now that i got a little interested in knowing about this actress, i thought of finding out details of this movie. Google helped me in finding coupla reviews of this movie.

For all those who didn’t watch this movie, here is a brief. It’s about an Iyer woman, traveling in a bus to kolkata with her infant son. She meets a Muslim guy in that bus, who helps her during the journey. On the way, some Hindu fundamentalists attack the bus and kill all the muslims in the bus. She saves this muslim guy by saying he is her husband Mr. Iyer. During the rest of the journey she falls in love with that guy, but in the end reaches her husband.

This film is directed by a famous director Aparna Sen and stars her daughter Konkona Sen. As usual, this was played in all those international film fests and won numerous awards. Konkona Sen got best actress award for this movie from Indian Government. There were rave reviews appreciating how Aparna Sen portrayed subtle emotions and human feelings in a very natural and touching way and all that. I could find all those rare words that are used only in art film reviews.

But to my petty brain, nothing looked natural in that movie. Ofcourse, i agree that to understand such movies, one should be at a 'very high' level of comprehension & maturity. They are beyond logic and never to be understood by software engineers. For example, the lead actress is shown as such a conservative Iyer woman, who doesn’t even drink water from a muslim. For such a conservative woman, i just wonder how natural & human it is to call a muslim her husband!!! No, I never understand that.

If Aparna Sen really wanted to show the conservative nature of orthodox hindu brahmin women, she could have shown how hesitant they will be even to talk to a guy other than their husband. But her intent was to show them as stupid people, who dont even drink water if it is given by a muslim but at the same time can fall in love with him. They are portrayed as confused, ignorant and senseless people who dont know their priorities. Little wonder this film got so much acclaimed in all those
international film fests by so many westerners.

One more instance is of a muslim couple traveling in the bus who are murdered by the attackers. Its shown that they have refused to go to pakistan at the time of partition. And all the reviewers appreciated how well Aparna Sen dealt with this aspect of plight of indian muslims. One person described it as the portrayal of an indian muslim's mindset who is wondering whether he has done the right thing by staying back in india.

Now, i wonder how natural is that again. Aren't indian muslims safer and more developed than their Pakistani counterparts? Don’t they enjoy more comforts in this democratic country than in a dictator-ruled Pakistan? After all, their fellow Hindu
exchequer pays for their Haj trip subsidy. Where else can they be in a better condition. Ofcourse, i agree that there are few instances of communal violence. But whose responsible for that? Any Way, lets not discuss such controversial things. But is the situation so grave as to make films and parade them in all the international forums? What impact will it have on India’s image?

But after all, this movie is made by a mother who couldn't civilise her daughter enough, even to respect the National Anthem. How can i expect something different? But to think that the movie received awards from Indian government instead of a ban!

I always hated these fame-mongers who would go to any lengths, just to earn awards. And to be known as progressive and intellectual. And also, all those people who throw applauses on them just to claim their piece of fame. Just imagine what would have happened if some one made a film named Mr & Mrs Khan, with the same story but showing the woman as a muslim and the guy as a hindu. And show Hindus getting killed by a muslim mob. Forget any awards, all the so called secular media would have called it Hindu fundamentalist and the government would have banned the movie. And Aparna Sen knows this pretty well!

If some one really wants to represent india in all those International film fests, there are many better ways. We have one of the best family systems in the world. There is a huge scope to make films that portray the emotions and affections that are unique to indians. We don't have to show a married woman falling in love with a co-traveller on her journey. Yes, you may call it as middle-class morality thing or whatever, but thats what is native to this country. I do agree that every society is a mix of things good and bad. And i don't claim that india is full of Sathi Savithris. But i think, our strength is in our family system and thats what the outer world looks for in indian movies. And i believe thats what has earned respect to India in the past.

A movie like 'Fire' won't do any good to india and is of no use to our society. I look at it on par with those Shakila starred Mallu movies. I really wonder why they are not called Art Movies!

Aparna Sen might have got so many applauses and her films might have won so many awards internationally, but I am ashamed of Indians like her.

Of Dieticians and Channa Masala Grills....!!!

2005-02-02T02:27:00.000-08:00

Channa Masala Grill!!! Yes, thats what i ate for lunch today. It was pathetic. Made from those instant mix packets sold by MTR and in a very bad taste. I should stick to my regular plain cheese grill which can't be spoiled much who ever the cook is.

We have 3 caterars in our office cafeteria serving differnt menus. But most of the time i end up at this sandwich counter, picking up a plain cheese grill and a mousambi juice.

I always wondered why i never liked the food at office. I know i am a fussy eater. But no, its not pure fussiness. Its just not good.

Also, i am told food at cafetarias of some offices is really good. One of my friend gets yummy food at her office, that too for a nominal monthly charge. But who knows, will i like that food? But atleast, in my office most of the people agree that the food is bad. So, probably i am not an exception or odd case.

But i should accept the fact that i can't eat anything and everything. I have always been fussy and choosy when it came to food. I got pinched almost everyday during my childhood, at the dining table. My tastes were as scaringly strange as the dress sense of Bangalorean girls. My parents were very much worried whether it is some disease. But none of the doctors could explain it, forget about a cure. So i had to go through this pinching ritual everyday.

I regret, we were not aware of people like Benny Hinn at that time. But to think, even that would not have been any less painful. Imagine a 2 month practice of violent shake and sudden collapse. That too for a person like me with such commendable acting skills. Also, i wonder whether this fussiness is in the god's list of diseases. If its not there, then even after so much of painful practice i would not have been cured.

Given the fact that i dont like carrier food also, i couldnt see any other solution to my problem with cafetaria food other than my plain cheese grill. So, last year when there was a consulting dietician(Ms.Rosy) at my office, i approached her with great hope and motivation. After so many exciting exercises during which she measured, weighed and scaled my body, she concluded that i am underweight by 7kgs.

She convinced me that this is a very big problem and i have to act on it immediately. I explained her my problems with food and the inability to eat whatever i get at office. She smiled and patted on my back. I kinda felt cured already(i dont think even Benny Hinn could be that quick). She assured me she will help me come out of this underweight problem. That too without any pain. I was thrilled to know and started wondering what magic she will use.

She reached in to a box lying on her table and took out a tin. She told me that the tin contains a very nutritious powder that will help anyone come out of underweight problem. She asked me to drink it mixed with milk twice a day. She also assured me, it will taste yummy and i will just love it. Having experienced her power already, i didnt hesitate buying that.It costed me a cool 800 bucks, but that was the last thing i was thinking about at that moment. Afterall, instant effects dont come too cheap, thats what i thought.

So the next morning with so much of excitement and vigour, i unleashed the tin open, took out 2 spoonfuls of powder and mixed it in the milk. Saying cheers to myself, i gulped a big portion of it with a great hurry. OAK! thats the sound emanated from my throat immediatley and i ran in to the wash. During the next 15 minutes, i was relieved of all i ate during the previous 1 week. Pity, Ms.Rosy was not available to smile and pat.

I came back to my desk and looked at the tin. Somewhere on it i read, "for kids of 2-4 years of age"!!!

That day,i stayed late in the office and when everyone left, threw it out of a window, far from my desk. And i never ventured to visit a consulting dietician again.

PS: After this incident, somehow i could eat most of the things i couldnt eat before. And this helped me and i am almost correct weight now. Thanks to Ms. Rosy... :)

What An Year.....!!!

2004-12-31T01:26:00.000-08:00

Yes, what an year!!! Even Asian Paints doesnt have so many shades in it's store. such a variegated and unique year, i felt. Ofcourse, thats how all of us feel every december. But i think this year is more unique in its own way. You may ask why! cuz, its december and thats how i feel every december.... :)

But a fabulous year indeed! You couldn't have asked for more entertainment and variety. Britney Spears married twice and Janet Jackson in an attempt to pay tribute to Archimedes(world's first recognised streaker!) spiced up the superbowl. Also, US of A successfully elected it's president with out any controversies!!! Heard special classes were conducted this time for florida voters on how to cast their vote with out confusing the counting machine.

Closer home, India has got it's first sardar prime minister! With a scientist as the president and an economist as prime minister, i am excited where are we destined to! But Chandrababu Naidu was defeated in AP, crashing my dreams of watching Michael Schumacher live, performing at hyderabad!

George Bush finally emerged victorious, catching saddam hussain live!!! But he seems a bit irritated on not being able to find any weapons of mass destruction(WMD) to take home as momentos! Also bothering him was the news that, Osama is still around and started calling bush as a WMD!!!

Also, its been technologically a superb year. Even teenage kids started using camera phones and making films!!! Also, the internet has penetrated deep into all villages of our country. This is confirmed by the announcement of penthouse.com that oflate, most no. of hits to their website are coming from 'pentapaadu', a village in coastal andhra pradesh!!! Also, thanks to this technology, we now know that Thrisha Krishnan always uses a bathtub and never gets under a shower!!!

And its been a significant year on sports front! The Olympics were held and India finally managed to top the medal list, only that its from the bottom. Major. Rathod did a wrong thing by earning that bronze. That way, india wouldn't hv been visible at all in the list. And it would be easy to convince people that due to lack of funds, this time we sent only a bunch of officials and their relatives and no sportspersons, so we dint actually participate in any event!

How can i forget the greatest display of sportsmanship displayed by our cricket team! Inorder to popularise the cricket and to give test status to as many countries as possible, it started losing out to teams like bangladesh also. I am told in 2005 it is planning to improve the record and ratings of Holland and kenya! Well, all the best saurav and co! You can easily blame it on lack of 'external' support and media can write about "can sachin still win matches!!!" Who cares for the fact that our great bowlers couldnt take all 10 wickets, even against bangladesh!

But i was happy to see Arsenal lifting EPL and Schumi's great flow on F1! Hope to see more quality stuff from them in the coming year.

Coming to Bollywood, shahrukh khan finally stopped dying in his movies!!! And salman the barer Khan spared many of the pavement dwellers and didn't create any news! Mallika Sherawath crated news by making jackie chan use a dupe, the actor supposedly said that she was too hot and he couldn't 'handle'! Inspired by Madonna & Britney spears act, kareena attempted a similar thing with some one whom some people say is a guy! But i still maintain that its 2 gals out there in those snaps! Also, Munnabhai MBBS entered record books as a film thats re-made in to maximum no.of languages, and heard, now they are planning to make this in some of those languages which don't even have a script.

Closer home, our gult heroes have started getting inspired from their bollywood counterparts and started showing heroism in real life!!!! I am amazed to know that they can use those guns with splendid ease in real life also!

On a personal front, i have some accomplishments to look back at. First thing being this blog itself!!!Also, I now can safely dive in to a 12 feet pool and can pull my pants up incase required, while swimming back!!! I also learnt a lot of lessons on what kinda things to wear on a trek and what kinda places not to trek.

Apart from this, through my blog and other ways, i earned a lot of new friends this year and had a wonderful time with all of them. I take this opportunity to thank all of them for making it so much fun!!!

But no one is in a partying mood as the year ended on a rather heavy note, with the tsunami thing!!! But thats enough pain for all those boozers out there to take help of those whisky bottles. So if not champagne, it will be whisky. So, I think the liquor industry doesn't incurr much loss.

But whatever you do guys, dont party by a sea side, and HAVE A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR 2005!!!

She Is Always Right!!!!

2004-12-22T03:56:00.000-08:00

Please read this story by Mark Twain before you proceed to read this post, atleast first few paras!!!

I am not sure whether this is pure imagination and talent of Mark Twain. I have a doubt he actually experienced it. For,i just realised that there is a very high chance of landing up in to such conversations when talking to women, not essentially married ones.

This is what happened when i was seriously immersed in a very very important assignment that has to be presented before EOD ASAP as i could see it from the gravity of the mail my boss has sent.

A little tiny message box popped from msn messenger, "hey, r u able to access dictionary.com?"

I opened my ie and typed the URL and the site was pretty much accessible.

I replied "yup. must be some prob with ur server"

Then it struck to me that i can look up the word for her so i imed "gimme the word, i ll look it up for u"

"No, i am not looking for any word"

I was kinda shocked. Why else any one needs on that site? afterall, there is nothing one can do on dictionary.com other than looking up for words.

so i asked "then y u asked me to check it?"

"Aise hi. JLT. y do u think too much about everything?"

i didn't understand when i thought too much. "thinking too much!!! that was kinda commonsense...."

"see, u r too egoistic and not open to correction. pls. dont mid, a friendly advise"

At this moment i didnt know what to say. All this Bhashan to me for just asking her if i can help!!!

some how i mustered my courage and responded "thanx a ton for ur friendly advise. But this petty brain of mine couldnt understand what u were refering to. pls.elaborate"

"y dint u accept wn i said u think too much?"

"coz i dint understand when did i do it"

"see, u start defending with out listening"

At this moment i realised that there is no use in me trying to discuss any more. I gladly accepted that i think too much and i am egoistic. And thanked her for her friendly advise.

I was reminded of the above story i read long time back. At that time i felt it was little exaggerated. But not any more.

seriously, i never understand them. Take for example shopping. Suppose a guy need to buy a pair of shoes. He will straight go to a Reebok/nike showroom, picks up the model he wants and swipes the card. All in max 10 mins.

Now, think of a girl. Suppose she needs a pair of sandals. errr....they never need only one, they generally shop minimum of 5,6 pairs at a time to match with the latest collection in their wardrobe. Actually, they are never in need of them, as they will be already having a minimum of 25 pairs at home.

It all starts when they see some girl sporting her new sandals. Immediate reaction will be "hey! nice ones. where did you pick them?". Then she will proudly explain how she found them at a shop in one of those corners of commercial street and how she bargained with the poor vendor to get them for 150 bucks(I always pity those salesmen who sell things to women!!!).

Thats it. Next weekend she is on her shopping spree to commercial street. Finds the corner shop (this is the time their skills of direction are on peak). But here is the surprise, she will not buy the model you thought she came there for. She always picks some other model than what she saw other girl wearing and she always thinks her choice is better!!!

Please, all you women readers, this is no intention of finding faults with you. This is only to express my inability to comprehend the behavioural innovations you gals treat me to.

Help people! Any University offering courses in women psychology? Preferably, having more practicals than theory classes... :)

Of hot things and male laps....!!!!

2004-12-09T01:09:00.000-08:00

My "well-wishing" cousin sent me this link today and advised me to be careful.

I kinda got alarmed!!! But hey, i always use a docking station and an ergo stand. So that shouldn't be a problem. But here onwards i should resist my self from lapping up my T40, even occasionally.

This makes me think of the possible plight of Companies in US who make their employees use laptops. If these results are proven, then all those companies have to pay millions of dollars as a settlement to many employees who will be more than ready to sue them!!!

Talking of laptops, IBM has sold it's PC business to some Chinese company. So thinkpads will not be branded as IBM anymore. Thats kind of strange feeling.

Apart from this, i recently discovered how inconvenient it is riding without a helmet. Not only from the elements, it also shields and protects you from distractions caused by the strap flashing low-raise clad bangalorean gals, pillion riding on fellow vehicles!!!

The Carrying Thing........!!!

2004-11-29T02:08:00.000-08:00

I dont like carrying things. This is one of the reasons i thank god for making me a male :) .

No, i dont have any intention of starting a gender war on my blog. This trait is pure personification of laziness thats inherent in me. I have utmost respect for those who do and sympathize with them.

No, you are wrong if you are thinking that i am talking about women. This carrying thingie happens to men also after marriage. And even sooner for them.

Before you get irritated, let me clarify things now. I am talking about this lunch carrier.

I have always hated carrying a lunch carrier. First and prominent reason being carrying itself. Also, i never liked food that was cooked and also mixed some 4,5 hours before.

As i have been staying away from parents right from my college days, i never had this problem of carrying a lunch carrier. It's a different issue that the food i get in office cafeterias is infinitely bad. I can write so many posts dedicated to that topic. So sure i
will, atleast one.

One of my colleagues got married a week back. He is back to office today, fresh after pampering at in-laws. I met him during the lunch. No surprise! he was happily eating out of his carrier, proudly flashing it and offering everyone to taste the food.

This made me think again. Will it happen to me also someday?

I sincerly hoped it won't. I prayed god that i never get forced by anyone to carry a lunch carrier.

Talking of food, I have been to the new(!) Mac at forum last week. A first time visit. Nothing great i felt. The burgers i use to eat at Universal Bakers in Hyderabad were lot better and bigger too. They use to give me potato chips also.

But i had a good time fighting with my friend there. Yes, gals look cute when they are thoroughly irritated and pretending anger :D

Also, i found a new Crush!!!!

In a moment of highly spiritual abandon... :)

2004-11-24T04:01:00.000-08:00

Yoooo Hoooo!!!! I had a looong vacation and just coming to terms again with daily work routine. It's been long time i blogged and i am struck with genuine fear of losing my readers. But its not that i can post as and when i want to post. I just dont like "what i have been doing today" kind of posts.

But my mind is so lazy at this point of time that i dont feel like posting at all. so here
i am going to post a small story that i have read recently.

Its been long time i read any thing in my mothertongue. So, when i saw a telugu magazine in my cousin's place, i just glanced through it just for the sake of seeing all the telugu letters and revising them. I found the following story in one of the columns by a columnist called Omkar and got really inspired by it. I translate it for you here...

Long long ago, when god initially created this world and the earth and humans with it, he decided to stay with them on earth. So along with all the other devathas like indra etc. he started living on the earth amidst humans.

As god is on the earth and instantly accessible, people used to go to him for every trifle and started disturbing him for all their needs. Being the person who is responsible for all the activities in this world, this was very disturbing for him. He couldnt concentrate on his activities and humans have become a big nuisance for him. He desperately needed some peace.

He called all the devathas and asked for a solution.

Some of them told him to go to mount everest and stay there. But he told them, man can and will come there in very near future and its not a safe place.

Then Indra advised him to go to moon and live there. But god knew man will land there eventually and told them that there is no place in this world that humans can not come to as he has bestowed them with so much power.

All devathas blamed god for making humans so powerful and dispersed.

Finally, an idea struck him and he disappeared to that place. From then, only one or two persons in a century could actually find him and reach him and he was relieved of all the disturbance.

So where has he gone?

He has actually started staying inside humans!!!

Yes people, this may sound just as a funny story but the message underneath it really inspired me.

The omnipotent is omnipresent and the almighty is in every individual, if only one can realise it!!!!!!

Happy Deepavali....!!!

2004-11-08T02:50:00.000-08:00

Yes, with all your good wishes and by grace of god, the delivery went well. Yippeee! I can enjoy my Deepavali peacefully now. And whats more, you will see me blogging more frequently. Also, It's been a long time and i have so many things to maunder about.

On the EPL front Arsenal's victory run was stopped in the 50th match by a 12 member Man U team, the extra one being the referee. It was a sheer attrocity. Apparently, the team was so shaken that they had to satisfy themselves with a draw even against Crystal Palace. Hoping to see them in full flow soon.

Speaking of football, i met one of my college friends last weekend. He was our college teams best forward. Also a person of great attitude. Always cheerful and enjoying life. When i met him last week, i was surprised to see him dull and depressed. Later, i found that the megrims are the effects of love. Apparently, he is finding it hard to convince his love that he is worthy of her love though he is only 5'5"!!!

Yes my dear readers, strange is the world and stranger are the people living in it! It seems, the female he is in love with is not willing to love anyone shorter than 5'8". And the funniest part of it is that she is only 5'1"!!! I couldn't see any logic in this and had a hard time consoling my friend.

I understand gals go for height. I have friends who drool over Abhishek Bachan, just because he is tall though he dances like a wooden puppet. But i couldn't imagine them being so irrational in matters of importance in life.

Infact, i see so many "practical" problems if there is a big difference in the heights for a couple. This can be very frustrating at times. Obviously, the guy cant keep carrying a stool evrywhere... :)

Finally, i managed to cheer him up by telling him a joke about a couple with a big height difference. And he finally laughed saying "dude! why don't you try as you meet her specs".....I was scared at that very thought.

Thats about it people, and i wish you all a very Happy and Safe Deepavali!!! Enjoy the festival and have a blast!!!

Pains......

2004-10-28T21:41:00.000-07:00

Q: What's common to pregnant women and software engineers....?
A: Both will have severe pains at the time of delivery....

Ha ha ha! i think that explains the reason this blog was silent for a while.

Hoping it will be a natural one and doesn't go the Caesar way! In which case there will be post-delivery pains also.. :)

Will be back ASAP...till then krupaya kshanthavyam!!!

A Bike Babbles......!!!

2004-10-11T07:15:00.000-07:00

Sunday evenings are painful stuff. As the realization of the dawning Monday morning creeps in, my body decides not to cooperate and my mind becomes too lazy to control it. So i spent the whole evening watching television.

Ten Sports was showing a re-run of the Moto GP held in the morning and Valentino Rossi was in terrific form. Boy! watching this champion lad manouvre the Yamaha around those curves on the circuit was a pure visual treat. It was some solace for me on otherwise a boring and hectic weekend.

But watching this kind of stuff is very frustrating also. Watching him zoom away on his bike makes me think: He rides a Yamaha and i also ride an Yamaha. While he touches 280KMPH, i struggle to maintain 28KMPH on these bangalore roads. Dammit!!! I was thinking on similar lines for the rest of the evening and reached my bed with "The Davinci Code" in my hand.

This is a book which deals with mysticism, symbolism, Paganism etc. etc. I heard about it much but never cared to read as this is some kinda scary stuff for me. But when i saw it in my cousins place, i just thought of finding out what it is all about and brought it home. Afterall, a book that you dont have to pay for is too tempting!!!

I dunno when i slept off with the book on my face. The next thing i was aware of was, somebody calling me loudly, "Hello Sriram!!!". I thought it was my roomie again, shouting at me for sleeping off with the lights on, 365th time!!!

I shouted back, "Band kar lenaa yaar. Please..."

"Please speak in english. I dont know hindi."

This alarmed me...so...

Me: Who is this?

"I am your Bike. Its been long time i wanted to talk to you, but some how i am resisting my self. I can't bear this any more."

Me: What happened? Any problem?

My Bike(MB): Problem? Call it misery. With a person like you riding me, what better can it get. My life is totally screwed. Have you ever thought of the kind of sufferings i am going through? Were it to be The US, i would have sued you for 100 million $s for the mental agony and physical torture you are subjecting me through.

Me: But i haven't done such a big sin. Infact, i am paying that guy every month so that you are cleaned every morning.

MB: You think thats some thing great you are doing. Yes, i agree that i am cleaned every morning. Thanks to that kind soul. But do you remember when was the last time you washed your jeans, that sit on me. You wear the same jeans half the no. of days and as far as i remember, it was 3 months back they were washed.

Me: But jeans are supposed to be used that way...!

MB: Don't talk nonsense. Anyways, there is no point in cribbing now. My fate was decided the day i am shipped to Bangalore. On these roads and with this kind of rains, i never had hopes of staying clean. But what beats me is the utter lack of care on your part. You are too lazy to even switch the gears. Do you understand the pain my engine goes through whenever you slow down in 4th Gear just holding the clutch without changing to 3rd!!!

Infact, i dont understand why you bought me. You are so lazy even to ride me. Whenever there is someone with you, you happily handover the keys and sit on the pillion. As far as i know, there is only one person who could make you give a ride...!!!

Me: But its so bad riding in this traffic and i am just tired of it...!!!

MB: Then why are you using me at all? Just because you can't wake up early to catch your office shuttle.I know.Otherwise you dont love me at all...

Me: Please!Don't talk like a girlfriend....

MB: Girlfriend? Please dont talk about girlfriends. You don't have a right to. This is one more thing thats bugging me. All my fellow bikes' pillions are treated to charming girlfriends and i get to have none. It will be mostly you or one of your cousins. I am so ashamed to state this. God! What a life. Do you understand the pleasure of carrying a beautiful girl, enjoying the pleasant air she brings with? No use talking to you on this. You will never understand...

Me: Please, i am trying my best on this. But there are so many constrains and complexities involved.....Also, I am under constant surveilance!

MB: Don't lie. I know about you and your laziness. What efforts are you putting on this front. You expect to get a girl by staying home? And you happen to be that horrible tee-totaller. I don't even get to go to a Pub. When i came to Bangalore, i had so many hopes of frequenting pubs and enjoying the beauties there. But when you bought me, all of them vanished away. All i get to go apart from your office is your cousins place on weekends. And even if you go to some nice place on weekends, you park me there and go in his car. God! i am so neglected...

Me: Please. Now you sound like a wife...

MB: Shutup! don't talk of women again. Anyways, let me tell you the purpose of this visit. I came to give you a warning on all the above matters. If you don't change and start working on these matters, i have to think of taking some serious action...I will be observing you from tomorrow onwards.

At this moment, i was woken by my roomie shouting "Abey! thu phir se light band nahi kiyaa...!!!"

I sleptoff again, giving a serious thought to taking office shuttle.

My BlogDog is Waiting For You.....!!!

2004-10-02T10:48:00.000-07:00

Yippeeee!!! The counter on my blog shows 950+ now and running fast for a kilo. I am pretty excited. Though i am not going to reveal the percentage of self hits, let me make it clear that they are not very substantial. In the sense that, they are well below 90%. Ha ha ha!!!

Any ways, this makes me very happy and I take this opportunity to thank all you people who made this possible. Some of the brazilians and japanese who landed on my blog through the "next blog" button may not be reading this as they never came back again. But i extend my thanks to them also. If any of you know spanish or japanese, please convey this to them by posting a comment here, "Sriram thanks you" in those languges. I thank you in advance for that!!!

And for that 1000th hit, i have big plans. Infact, i have planned for this well in advance. I have taken help of my Russian hacker friend Vladimirsky Gotanev, and created this special software. I named it BlogDog(Registered)!!! And i am embedding this software in to my blog now. What this can do is truely amazing. When that glorious moment comes, when the counter on my blog turns 1000, this software triggers itself automatically.

It then analyzes the IP packets and finds details about the 1000th visitor. It will trigger the webcam on my Russian friend's system to take a snap of this person and publishes that on my blog immediately. I dont have much details about this camera, but he assures me that he can take snaps of any person, any where in the world visiting my blog. Please dont ask me how this is possible, as i dont know Russian and couldn't understand the manual he sent for my reference. Then it sends me a report, giving all the details like Name, gender, location etc. of this visitor.

Here is a word of caution. For the next few days, If you are accessing my blog from home, please make sure that you put on decent clothing before accessing it as i dont want my blog to be listed in those X categories. Also, from now onwards, you may consider putting up a big smile on your face just before accessing my site. People may give a suspective glance on seeing you smile at the monitor, but a smile sure enhances your snap value!!!

But if you are accessing my blog from office and are apprehensive about your boss seeing your snap on my blog(afterall, such a famous one this), i have an idea for you. Just before accessing it, cover your face with both your hands and look through the gaps. If the counter is showing 1000, just hard boot your system using your feet. If the counter is not showing 1000, then you are safe and can browse through normally.

This is a kind of Beta testing for my BlogDog(Registered) and if it works fine, i am planning to float a company and market it as a Blog CRM product. I am sure it will be a big hit and even google may eventually buy it!!! And that can make me rich. Also, as a token of gratitude, i am planing to give a 10% share of this money to the 1000th vistor of my blog!!!

So if you are the 1000th visitor, you have so much in store for you. And what are you waiting for??? Put on your new suite, put up a big smile and start pressing F5....!!!

Now...is that serious Buddy!!!

2004-09-27T10:37:00.000-07:00

A perfect chaudhvin ki raath. The moon in full glory and the sensuous cool breeze treating my senses to sheer ecstasy. Add Mohd. Rafi to it entrancing me with mellifluous Deewana hua baadal...!!! Sitting in the balcony of my eigth floor flat, what i should be experiencing is nothing less than seventh heaven.

But what a pity!!! What i am experiencing right now is utter torture. Mental torture. Thats what i have been experiencing for the last one week. And i couldn't bear it anymore. So i have decided to post what ever i can.

Let me make things clear. I have a friend, whom i call up everytime after posting something here and ask for opinion. Though i have never been able to get a "Great Buddy!!!", things were not very bad till the last post. This is what happened when i called her up last time.

Me: Hello...
My Friend(MF): Hi.
Me: Dude! How was this last post of mine...
MF: Hmmm...OK.
Me: Just OK? Can't you give a better comment...?
MF: No, infact i am kinda irritated. No other topic for you...? Why do you always write about gals?
Me: Because i am straight. And not interested in guys...
MF: Shut up!!! Write something serious next time. Otherwise, just dont call me.
Me: But....
MF: thats it...(Click).

Thats about it My dear readers, from then onwards i am undergoing this pain. Thinking hard to find some thing "serious" to write about. For a guy like me, this is pretty "serious" indeed. But i was determined and started my endeavours.

I started like this. I went home and looked up the Dictionary for "serious". It gave two meanings:
1. Solemn. This is something godly, and i better be careful.
2. Important. Hmm...what is important to me. Gals...errr!!! I am there again.
So the dictionary was of no use and i was pretty disappointed.

I thought i will write about some of the "serious" people i know. For example, this girl in my office with a melancholous stride, whom i never saw smiling. But again, no gals right. What about this project manager of mine. An epitome of seriousness. But why take risk just for a blog!!!

I have been thinking this way for the whole last week and torturing my self. All in vain. Haven't even had a shave or combed my hair. Always lost in thoughts and hardly eating anything. And today when i was walking in my office corridor, lost in these "serious" thoughts, a colleague of mine patted me from back and said..."Any problem buddy! you are looking so SERIOUS these days.....!!!"

And that was the last straw!!!

Thanking BCDPS.....!!!

2004-09-16T02:27:00.000-07:00

It was sure not my mistake. I was riding my bike with perfect traffic sense. And with a mind full of noble thoughts. Infact i was looking around for a girl who missed her office bus and getting late for her early morning meeting, so that i can help her by giving a ride on my bike.

Then came this guy on a bike zooming past me with his sister on the pillion (whenever i see a guy with a pretty girl on his back, i think that she is his sister. Just not to spoil my sanctity by getting jealous). God!!! Pretty she was. I raised the accelerator to catch up with him. Soon i was traveling parallel to him with my head turned 90 degrees to the left.

I tried hard to focus on the road, vehicles and other trivial things. It was hard. I wanted to tell him to give his helmet to her. Atleast then i thought i will be able to concentrate on my ride. So i started getting close to his vehicle(No other intentions like having a close look at the girl).

It all happened then. The Bangalore City Department of Potholes and Slush (BCDPS) raged havoc. Apparently they have deployed some of their workforce there. With all my attention focused on a pretty attraction, i had very little consciousness of the road. And the front tyre of my bike landed in a pothole filled to brim with rainwater.

The girl on the bike, observing me for quite sometime by now, giggled out loud. Alas! but that didnt last long. As i told already, i was pretty close to them and the splash of the rain water found a pretty place to land !!! It was all over her face and the dress. This brought me back to my senses. My instincts of survival took control and i finally looked at that guy.

He looked like a villain in a Chiranjeevi movie who sports a t-shirt of horizontal stripes and a red ribbon around the head. I realised the need to escape. I zoomed up furiously. But that guy also started chasing me with a vengeance. As my bike is a cruiser which is not a very good one for this kind of activities, there was nothing much i could do except for praying god. He was about to catch me.

Then came the rescue in the form of BCDPS again. It was my chaser's turn now. And this time it was even a deeper pothole with lots of slush. And his bike stopped. Gracious God!!! I just looked at her for one more time and zoomed away!!!

I thanked god and reached office safe. By the time i reached my cube, the telephone was ringing furiously. For a moment i shruddered with the thought of that guy finding out my number from the office sticker on my bike. I lifted it anxiouly...

"Good Morning Sir! This is from ICICI Bank. An exculsive offer for employees of your organisation only. We are offering free credit cards....."

For once, i was glad to receive this call!!!

"Gurussakshaath Parabrahma"

2004-09-13T10:18:00.000-07:00

This article in rediff left me spell bound. And my love for Sanskrit continues to grow. If you are a chennaiite, then you have an opportunity that not many of us have. Ofcourse, only if you love sanskrit.

I take this opportunity to convey my salutations to Sri Rajagopalacharya and all those great gurus who kept this spring of knowledge flowing through generations, in the most sacred way possible!!!

Stopping By Lounge On A Rainy Evening!!!

2004-09-08T11:25:00.001-07:00

No...!!! This is no parady of Robert Frost. In my current state of mind, thats the last thing i can do. My head was terribly aching and i wanted to go home early. So packed my stuff and rushed down the stairs to reach my bike. Bang!!! i had to stop at the entrance as it is raining heavily right now in this part of Bangalore.

So here i am, waiting in my office lounge, infront of my lapy, posting this through office WLAN!!! First wireless post on my blog. Dammit. Pity Wi-Fi cant take me home through infrared rays above the clouds!!!

Bangalore is a strange city. You never know when it will rain and where it will rain!!! At one place it would be as dry as a cotton farm in Andhra Pradesh and few yards from there it would be poring down like anything. All the lesser mortals like me who travel on a two-wheeler in this city know it very well.

Infact, i love rains. Ofcourse, only when i am at home. Smugly ensconsed under wraps on a bed near a window, and with a plate of hot pakodas in my hand. Mirchi Bajji will do equally well!!!

But here in bangalore, they have become a pain in an unmentionable part of the body. What with this traffic and roads full of potholes!!! The slush is nauseating. Yes Mr. Premji, i am ready to pay double the amount of professional tax if you can really do something about these roads. Afterall, the peace of mind i will get will be definitely worthier!!!

Ufff! The rain shows no signs of recess but the battery is getting discharged. So people, lemme publish this before i lose it. As it is, i run Microsoft XP on this machine.....!!!

Any One For Synchronized Swimming!!!

2004-09-01T12:07:00.000-07:00

The Olympics are over. With only one silver in hand (salute to the Major), the over managed and under-performing Indian squad is back home. I was glad kabaddi was not included in olympics. We would sure have surrendered to some one like Ethiopia in that also...!!!

India earned the highest rank possible by total on par with Eritria, Mangolia and Columbia. Absolutely no intention of belittling any of these countries. Readers may appreciate the fact that population of these countries is far lesser than the number of software engineers in Bangalore and people in those countries are not even fed properly.

I was especially disappointed at the performances of our women lifters. I had high hopes on them and the manner in which they bowed out was humiliating. Even the passionate pair of hesh-paes couldnt get us a medal.

In the end it was Anju Bobby George, who raised some hopes of getting us above Serbia/Monteneg in the medal list. But Alas! those Tatyanas from Russia were too much for her. I really felt for Anju....(though my heart went for those Russian sirens!!!excuse me, being honest here). The pressure was too much on her. Imagine being only the second indvidual to reach an olympic final from a country with a 1 billion population. That too in more than 50 years...!!! She gave her best though. Kudos to her!!!

Enough cribbing you may say. And some of you may even ask what am i doing as a responsible indian citizen apart from this bashing. Hold on. I have my plans ready. This Synchronized Swimming event really caught my attention (now you people dont start finding wrong motives!!!). I was so inspired that, last weekend when i went for swimming with my cousins, i literally tried doing a "seershasan" in water and couple of high dives. It was only that the pool was not deep enough and i hurt my knee badly and narrowly escaped a head injury.

Nevermind people, i am committed to bringing home both the golds in this event of next olympics. But here is the only hitch. This event is only for women. But thats not a problem. Having learnt enough tricks, i can coach them now. So all i need is a group of young, slim and beautiful unmarried women who can volunteer to get coached by me. Ofcourse, in the sheer interest of National Pride!!! And the Olympic gold medal.

So young ladies, please commit yourself to the nation's pride and start posting your Name, Age and Email address in my comments section!!! Soon you will be contacted for a scanned latest color photograph.....!!!

A Kannada Wedding....

2004-08-23T04:15:00.000-07:00

I happened to attend a wedding reception this weekend. It was only that, i dont know both bride and groom. Infact, i dont know any one in that wedding hall. It was my cousin's neighbour's daughter who was getting married!!!

We were all roaming out in 4th block and suddenly he got reminded of it. The wedding hall was nearby and he took all of us there. I was not at all interested. A wedding hall is the last place i would like to go on a weekend. But i was convinced saying it will be only a 5 min visit for formality sake and we will go shopping from there immediately.

So finally we entered the hall. Every one seated and waiting for the couple to come on to the dais. We also got seated. I smugly settled in and started looking around for some motivation. No use. Bangalore girls dont spend their weekends attending marriages!!! It was only good old grannys representing their families. Alas! even the bride was still in the makeup room.

With no one to look at and nothing to do, I started cribbing my cousins for getting me there. But they got a gift to give and we have to wait for the bride to come out. And my cousin was very tensed about this. They have already got a gift and I couldnt understand his tension about giving the gift. I have never attended any wedding in bangalore and little do i know about the complexities involved in this process!!!

God has finally bestowed his choicest blessings on me, and the couple came out on to the dais. Then the videographer took control. An aspiring movie director he was, he made them turn, twsit and pose in all possible angles to quench his directorial thirst.

Bingo!!! it was gifts time. Before i could realise what was happening, a big que was formed. Every one was in a hurry to give the gift they got so that they can go to the dining hall and push out from there. People started pushing each other and it was soon a big mess. To go in that crowd and handover the gift was a mammoth task indeed!!! Now i understood why my cousin was so tensed.

My cousin regretted not knowing the dirction of dining hall. The que always starts from the opposite side of dining hall it seems. So that people can proceed to the dining hall after handing over the gift. We were sitting on the wrong side and the que grew quite big before we realised. But some how my bhabhi managed to slip in the middle and she came out succesfully earlier than we all expected. We all thanked her for that and proceeded to the dining hall. .

The dinner was good and i enjoyed the ice-cream. We were all given a coconut each while coming out!!! I wanted to bang my head with it for wasting such a precious evening...but restrained from it in the best interest of both me and the just married couple!!!

Lord Sri Krishna For You....

2004-08-18T13:40:00.000-07:00

My cousin sent me this link today...
http://acharya.iitm.ac.in/sanskrit/lessons/lessons.html

This is by some of the people in IIT Madras who have put in lot of effort to promote sanskrit. I got really inspired.

And they have put up all the slokas of Bhagavadgitha with their meanings in English. I chanced upon the following....

"Name Paarthasthi Karthavyam Thrishu Lokeshu Kimchana
Naanavaapthamavaapthavyam Varthe Yeva Cha Karmani"
There is nothing in all the three worlds that i need to do, nor is there anything worth attaining yet to be attained by me, Yet I engage in work - Lord Sri Krishna.

This one is for all the lazy people like me...Really explains the essence of work!!!
Finally i have some motivation to sit and code!!!

"Tharnaka Special...."

2004-08-18T12:26:00.000-07:00

It was my fault. I shouldn't have started from office when the rain has just stopped. That too when i have to cross the silk board junction and reach home. Silk Board junction in Bangalore has now become more famous and crowded than Times Square in Newyork. I knew it was going to be like that. But Alas! My hunger got better of my intellect.... And i got caught in the traffic jam.

My enticer was sandwitched between a monstrous truck and a college bus. A.P.S. college of engineering, it read. I raised my head and looked in...hoping to catch glimpse of some college chicks. Uff!!! no use...competes with the Atacama desert in dryness!!! Pitied those guys sitting in the bus.

This reminded me of my college bus in Hyderabad. It was a complete opposite situation. This college bus of mine started in my 2nd year BE. Bus number 6M/120 was converted in to Moulali HB colony - Ibrahimbagh college special. People started calling it "Tharnaka Special".

This bus route had all the beautiful girls, specially the first years. Me staying near the starting point of the bus, had the best chance of grabbing a place in the front rows...close to the girls... :)
And with ragging strictly banned in college campus, the college bus was a god's gift!!! What else could give daily 2 hrs of un-controlled fun...!!! With the junior cuties doing what ever you want them to do...

All the guys in college wanted to travel in this bus only. We, "tharnaka special" guys have become the envy of guys in other routes. They all have started searching for rooms in this route. Rents for student accommodations zoomed up in this route...!!!

We enjoyed this journey for the next two years also. Thats something quiet unforgettable. I made so many friends, read so many books and more than that had so much fun. All, Thanx to the "tharnaka special".

Sorry for digressing. Bored you people with this nostalgia of mine. But nothing sweeter than college life....Ohhoyyy....me again!!! Let me stop here and not go in to that nostalgic mood again....!!!

Shit....Rum!!!

2004-08-15T12:22:00.000-07:00

After an action packed weekend last week, this time it was quite a lazy one. Most of it was spent before the Idiot box. Of late, my weekends have become so hectic with things like swimming, badminton etc...that i watched very little of television. But this weekend gave me some updates on whats happening on the small screen!!!

For example, i came to know that Telugu television is following it's film industry and importing female anchors from other states. I was watching one of those "top 10..." programs, and was trying to figure out whats this "Shit...Rum" the Anchor was refering to!!! Though not an expert on alcohol, i am sure i never heard about this variey of Rum. Also it appeared too much against logic that any one would name a product as shit. After much analysis and thought process we deduced that what she meant was "Chithram", that means movie in telugu. God save my mothertongue!!!

English premier league started again and Arsenal began with a bang 4-1 win over Everton. But Man U disappointed with a 0-1 lose to chelsea. I am waiting for too long and its time the red devils rejuvenate themselves!!!

Apart from this, i also learnt why gals always get a drop from guys where ever they go. I always thought, it was only for the pleasure of riding bike with a pretty thing on the back. But now i know how difficult it is to explain directions to a girl!!! It will take much less time , effort and even money to take them than explaining them how to go!!!

Thats about weekend activities people, and its time i consider sleeping now. As it is, a Monday morning is already waiting for me... :(

As of now, lemme say good night to Mohd.Rafi and try catch some sleep......!!!

Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics.......!!!

2004-08-13T12:32:00.001-07:00

Not bad...atleast, not as bad as i expected it to be!!! The hit counter on my blog has been quite encouraging. The statistics are pretty impressive....Have to admit that substantial number of them are self hits...but still, with in a week of starting it, i could force all my acquantances to give the place a shot. This makes me more excited about continuing this blog...the kind of feeling a software engineer trainee gets after delivering first bug fix and an appreciation mail from manager....!!!

Though i wont expect this hobby of mine to turn in to a big maintenance project, some thing inside me warns me against being over enhusiastic!!! Any way, let me enjoy it for the moment....!!!

Now there is an option for you to subscribe to my blog by giving your email id. Dont worry people, Me a no spammer and wont send you mails with offers to deliver valium and viagra overnight. You will only receive alerts when there is a new post, so that you can be one of the lucky first few to read my post!!!
There were also some comments, recommendations, suggestions and compliments (sachee mein...)!!! Yes People, i am incorporating all of them in future posts!!! So keep shooting me....!!!

Of sleep, and waking up early.......!!!!

2004-08-10T12:40:00.001-07:00

Here i am...at 1 in the morning, laying on my bed listening to a CD of classic oldies that my roomie just got. Not able to catch up some sleep and worrying about the early morning meeting i got tomorrow.

Not able to wake up early has been my incessant problem right from school days. What with this myth that early morning studies are more effective and concentration levels will be high. This has raked a havoc in my student life. Not that i really studied hard at any time...but things got worse after joining my junior college.

I joined a college in Vizag, where my uncle was a lecturer. He is an ardent believer in this waking up early theory and generally use to finish his breakfast by 4.30AM.
Massive efforts were launched to wake me up early and make me study. Two alarm clocks, those steel ones that produce high decibel rings were procured. And when i go to bed, these two monsters were made to sit on both sides of the pillow, with in touching distance of my ears. The alarms were adjusted in such a way that, once one alarm completes the ring, the other will start!!!

They scared me so much that i couldnt get any sleep at all. I use to stare at them till late in the night imagining them in the forms of various demons that i had read about in hindu mythology. Some times i use to dream of lord krishna coming back to earth and saving the mankind by destroying all the alarm clocks in the world.

One thing i forgot to mention was about my sleeping habits. God's grace bestowed on me such superhuman powers of sleeping. The effort required to wake me up was humungous. When ever i slept alone in the house, i had to sleep very near to a window with a long stick on the other side. If i have to wake up and open the door, it was only possible if some one pokes with that stick at me for a considerable amount of time.

With such sleeping skills, the alarm clocks were of no use. They use to ring for such a long time in the morning that they woke up everbody in our house and all neighbouring houses. But good god! I wont even move a bit. With increasing complaints from neighbours, my uncle stopped using these alarms. But Alas! that was no relief for me. He started using a mug full of water to wake me up in the morning!!!

I had to find new ways of escaping this trauma. With those splashes of water, i use to wake up only to find my self in a miserable state. After few days, i was struck with an idea. Complaining that it was very cold in the mornings, I started sitting in the kitchen saying its warm there. It was very cozy and with no one observing, i could happily snooze off with the book under my head.

It went well for few days untill one day when the boiling water on the stove has overflown and took my back as path to the ground. There were big boils on my back and i could easily bunk my college for 3 weeks.

People, thus ended those efforts to wake me up early. No one ever ventured again, atleast for academic purposes!!!

Enough of blogging for tonight.....now that i finished listening to the CD and with even radio city playing songs that are best unheard, lemme switch the light off and get under covers.......!!!

When Nature Calls.......!!!

2004-08-09T11:41:00.000-07:00

The serene scenic beauty of Muthathi....!!!

Riding the Bus......!!!

2004-08-09T11:36:00.000-07:00

On the way to Muthathi....The unforgettable trek that was!!! You can only see my shoes....On the top of the Bus!!!

What a Weekend.......!!!

2004-08-08T11:13:00.000-07:00

It can't get better...what a weekend it was! A perfect one. Packed with action, loads of fun and some unforgettable moments.A party, An outing on a river side, A journey on bus top, A trek that was terrifyingly adventurous, Yummy garlic bread & Pizza at jayanagar pizzahut, Three hours of badminton &amp; swimming and a ManU-Arsenal match to end with.

No, i am not going to bore you people with details of all these things. But here are some of the things i learnt....

-If you are traveling on a bus top and the bus is stopped for a tea break, look around for monkeys before you get any eatables on the bus top. And once the monkeys have seen the food, never try to hide it unless you have special powers of surviving monkey bites.

-Before getting in to a river, check for red ants and other similar creatures that may get very intimate with you and gain access to certain parts of your body which even you can not see, smell or touch....

-Before climbing up a hill, make sure you know how to climb down!!! Mind you, mobile phones wont work on hill tops...and SOS calls are not of any use.

-This one is for girls. If you dont want to do some thing and every one around you is forcing you to do that, put up a tensed look and say aloud "I will cry!". This works. And I am the witness.

-And Guys, never go trekking wearing your low-raise jeans! High chances for some of the most sensitive body parts getting squeazed!!!

-Do not enter immediately in to a room just vacated by a bunch of girls after their make-up. Human noses are not meant to withstand the smell produced by a combination of various face creams, moisturisers, hair creams and nail polishes!!!

-Before making a dive in to the swimming pool, make sure your trunks are tight. Its not very easy pulling your trunks up while swimming in the 12 ft area!!!

And My God! whats this...a thorn in my finger. Remnant of the lot i picked on my Trek. Let me go and find a needle.......!!!

Why Me Blog....????

2004-08-05T11:07:00.000-07:00

It happened again...i was as usual utterly confused. I was in that Shakespearean dilemna...to blog or not to blog...

whats the heck all this about. what am i going to get...?
royalty? a raise in my salary? invites for blind dates?
a blog doesnt seem to help me on any of the above...

forget any benefit....who will notice this little place of mine in this galaxy of blogs....?
for all the time i will be spending in front of my laptop posting some insane ramblings here, i will be as good as the author of "terms and agreements" document you see on an online registration form before clicking "I agree" button....no one cares to read you see...and worse, i wont be paid for even.

If no one reads them, what point in this verbal masturbation....???

but hey, the doctors say its a healthy practice...and some thing inside me prompts me to continue...Writing after all, has been the only love of mine that could withstand my rather overly passionate emotional ejaculations for such a long time.

And its only the second day in the life of my blog...let me keep it alive for some more time...and see if i can make it one of the brighter stars in this galaxy!!!

Hello World!!!

2004-08-04T10:29:00.000-07:00

My First blog....My First Post....What else you can expect from a software engineer.....
Well....here it is...
a big Hello World!!!